Saturday, December 24, 2022

Almost Christmas

 Goodafternoon everybody!

After some rather cold days we now have much better temperatures, at the moment we have around 10C and there was even spme sunshine during the day.

So I took advantage of the better weather and decided to have a litle walk this afternoon, which was a good decision. I have been busy this week with some calls and paperwork and did little jobs in the house and did cook for myslef each evening for dinner. 

I brought a Christmas bag with a few presents and also some things to eat as a little "thank you"to two friends who were just there when I needed a bit of help with some paperwork and also a listening ear. Sadly they were both struck by Covid, one of them was quite ill, but they could stay home to fight it. It was nie to be able to do a small return gesture and they were happy with it.

As long as I am keeping busy in whatever way, it is going okay with me, but then of course I see something or think about something that has to do with Jan and then a tear or ten or so are shed. Well, that still will happen at the most strange moments sometimes, so I will have to get used to it and it will get less. But now it is just a few weeks ago he passed away and then it is a normal thing.

Don't feel too sorry for me, it is how it is and I will find a way to deal with it and pick up my life and make something good of it.

I had a word from my friend Edna, who is experiencing a hard time at the moment as I feel it and she told me also she still has Covid (she did a test again and it showed she is having it), she says it just feels like having a real bad cold with shivers. I really hope she will get over it soon, it could be a little bit tricky with her because she has breathing problems. Let's all send a little prayer that it will get better soon with her.

I grabe this occasion to, again, thank all of you who left me so many kind words and thoughts, blog people are kind of special people sometimes.

Also wishing you all a Merry Christmas, and 

make the best of it.

Sunday, December 18, 2022

Holding on .

 Goodafternoon everybody!

You are all so nice and sweet. Thanks for that. 

We had some rather cold days here, even today it is still cold, with some temperatures below zero, or just around but at nighttime several degrees below zero, brrrrr. But... there is hope. Seems that starting next week temperatures will go up again and even could reach something like 9C at daytime.

What have I been doing this week? Well, trying to get a little bit into usual rythm again, and trying to keep busy with all kind of things. Some really necessary, like handling some paperwork and sening in forms etc, with that I am on good track. 

I treid to get out of the house almost every day, it is good to snif up some fresh air and walk a bit. Most difficult  I think is getting into good eating mode again. I am already not a "big " eater, so I have to take care of that, but...... slowly I do make myself little meals at dinnertime, and I have to keep up with that. Then there is of course some housekeeping to do(I wasn;t the best in it and now it is even less, hahaha), but every now and then I spend a short time on that. 

I have put up a little Christmas tree, because it will be Christmas, although different. My Jan loved to decorate and he would be happy that I made the room a look a little bit in Christmas mood. Last week I bought a new ormanet to hang in the tree, as kind of remembrance to Jan. I've made a photo of it so I can share it with you.

One thing I am greatful about is that on tv now there are Christmas films every day during the month. Perhaps funny that I watch them now, but most of them are not too bad and you don;t have to think a lot when watching them. I am not really in the ood for following detective series at the moment. I do watch them but not that often at the moment. 

It is still a strange situation for me. I cope rather well, I think with it, but at the most funny moments suddenly some tears appear. Like this morning. I did turn the washing machine, and when hanging it on the drying rack in the extension, I saw on the couch there lying two sweaters of Jan, which I wore a lot when at home, because they were comfy and warm. And then .... oops, I suddenly started to shed some tears. Jus for a few moments, then I was rather okay again, but those things happen every now and then. I supose I have to learn, that this might happen more in future, just every now and then. Well, it's okay. Lucky we aren;t machines and have our feelings.

Next week there are still a few administrative things to settle and still some in the new year, but not so much. Now my friend Heidi is on a little vacation and will be back around the 2nd of January. Then she will come over to help me with some paperwork, if still necessary and later will help with sorting out things from Jan, like his clothes and so on. At the moment it is still a bit too soon for me. That can wait.

Well, this is how I am going on at the moment, not much more to tell. 

I'll try to come back just before Christmas next week, okay?

Wishing you all a safe and wonderful week to come.

Sunday, December 11, 2022

Goodbye to my hubby Jan

 Goodafternoon everybody!

First I want to thank agin all that left me a comment with so many kind words. It is heartwarming to know that there are still a lot of wonderful people around.

And yes, last Monday I said goodbye to my Jan.

This were the flowers I gave him on his last voyage.

texte was simple: Jan.... given with love, Kyra

This was the front of the card of the announcement

I think the foto of the flowers doesn;t do them completely justice, I think the color is a little bit different, but it gives the idea.

Texte of the card short;

"Sooner than I thought I'll have to let my buddy go"

and then the usual information.

The ceremony was held in a very small and intimate place, just enough for a real small company. I let them play some music Jan liked very much, like nr.1 Non ho l'eta from Gigliola Cinquetti, then I held a small speech, then there was played Words from the Bee Gees( he adored the Bee Gees!) en during that song they showed some lovely foto's of Jan), then my best firend spoke some words, then there was the last song Gute Nacht Freunde, from Reinhard May and then everone gathered around Jan's coffin and did a last toast as goodbye. It was really moving.

Afterwards we gathered for something to drink and talk a bit and then everybody went home.The lady who arranged all for the funeral service did a great job, she was a very nice and caring person. 

Yes, of course it was a sad day, but I had peace with it how it all was arranged.

Then this week I think I am still in a kind of "surviving mode", there are quite some things that one has to take care of, most the official paperwork and telefone calls. A lot of things are done, but in the coming weeks I will still receive letters with things to answer etc. 

It's a strange feeling I have now. I cope rather well till now(I think), I am talking a lot to his foto at the moment, not feeling too sad. Perhaps I already felt it coming when he was moved to hospital this last time. And cried my heart out the moment he passed away and perhaps that was good as it was.

Oh there will be certainly moments I suddenly will miss him terribly, and shed a little tear but that will be okay too.

There is such a sweet thing happened, which I found very moving and I would like to tell this before I really finish this post. A few days ago I did send a little app to our plunber to let him know my husband has passed away. I also (may be strange to do so but I didn;t know what to do at that moment)asked him if he knew a reliable carpenter or locksman who could help me with my front door. Suddenly I couldn't lock it with my keys. Probably caused by frost or humidity, but very akward of course.

And later that afternoon someone was ringing at the door, there he was, my plumber to bring his personal condolances, have a short chat and to fix my door! Now I close and open it with my keys without any problem(and that is a great reassurance for me). But isn;t that sweet??? I was very grateful to him.

Good, for now I will finish, certainly I could tell more things, but that will have to wait. 

I wish you all a wonderful week to come and please, stay as healthy as you can .

Friday, December 02, 2022

just a word

 The cremation  will be on Monday  5-12-2022 at 3.00 p.m.

Thanks to you all for your kind messages and all. It is very heartwarming.Till next post, don;t know when but I will be there again.